It’s true. I haven’t made anything super yummy and photogenic since those amazing chocolate chip cookies. Sad, I know. I’ve been really busy with lots of other things including reading “A Cup of Friendship” by Deborah Rodriguez, studying for the MCAT, and contemplating what I want to do with the rest of my life. I’m really quite torn about going to medical school. I’ve always dreamed about becoming a doctor. Now I’m starting to wonder though, if it’s really my dream or if it’s my intense desire to live up to everyone’s expectations. Sure, I got straight A’s in high school and everyone thought I was destined for greatness. High school is easy though, and anyone can get good grades if they put in a little effort. Sure, I was a dreamer and thought I’d become a groundbreaking surgeon someday. But now, that just sounds like so. much. work. Maybe I want a life and not just a career. How am I supposed to become an distinguished surgeon and still have time to bake cookies!? Or god forbid…what if I want to have a family? Anyways…enough about me ranting about the future.
I thought I’d show you all something I made on photoshop today. The picture is me from about a year ago, shortly before I started recovery. It’s pretty silly, but I’m excited to start learning more about photoshop!
I’m sharing this photo with you all for several reasons other than the fact that I’m obviously super excited about it. The quote says “Illness needs no (th)inspiration.” This is a really important message dispelling the idea that eating disorders simply arise out of vanity. People are blamed, shamed, and feel responsible for their eating disorders because of the common misperception that they are self-inflicted. Anyone who holds this viewpoint has obviously not lived through the horrors of anorexia, bulimia, or any other eating disorder.
The second reason I’m sharing this photo with you is that it represents my life after my eating disorder. An eating disorder basically sucks the life out of people. People with eating disorders are no longer interested in the things they used to be, and they socially isolate themselves in order to further their disease. Writing this blog, experimenting with cooking, and attempting food photography has been a really amazing journey in finding a new passion. When I found something that made my life vibrant, my eating disorder even further fled to the shadows.
Anyways, sorry there’s no recipe today. Stay tuned though because I have lots of yummy goodness planned!
XOXO,
Jamie
I understand what you mean. When my eating disorder was at its worst, I was no longer interested in anything and lost my passion. I just wanted time to fly away and do nothing. I had forgotten how to laugh. But thankfully, I am in a much better place now and recovering after so long. There were hard times, when I thought I was recovering, but then went back to my old self again. I really hope I can keep getting better at this slow but steady rate. Thank you for sharing!! WIsh you all the best for your future.
Love,
Asuma