I kind of see my recovery as a shift from being “food negative” in thinking that food=fat to being “food positive” in thinking that food is a way to nourish my body and a site of enjoyment and experimentation. Being “recovered” from my eating disorder doesn’t mean that I never experience negative thoughts about my food choices or my body. Instead, I see recovery as having the tools to deal with these thoughts and act in a way that’s healthy for my body.
These past few days have been a little rough for me. For example, yesterday Darren asked me if I wanted to go out to breakfast with him and his mom. I originally said no even though I haven’t been out to breakfast in a while, and as I’ve stated numerous times on my blog, I LOVE breakfast! After I got off the phone with Darren I realized the only reason I said no to breakfast was because I was anxious about all the calories I would eat. I realized this was completely my eating disorder creeping back up on me again. I needed to do what I wanted, and not let my old ways of thinking come back into my life. I told Darren everything I was feeling. He, being the completely supportive boyfriend he is, assured me it was completely okay to go out to breakfast. He picked me up, and I enjoyed a lovely breakfast with him and his mom.
My old ways of restrictive thinking creep back up on me occasionally like they have been for the past few days. However, I just act against them and reaffirm to myself that I can trust my stomach to tell me when I’m hungry and what I need to eat. I can enjoy food and still be healthy. If I hadn’t confronted my instance of food anxiety yesterday, I would have missed out on a really great time. It’s unfair to yourself to let food control your life. Confronting your food fears in the first step towards freedom. Good luck everyone!
XOXO,
Jamie
I found your blog just this morning and I have just got to say thank you so much. I am recovering from bulimia and your blog has given me hope that I too will get past this and that I will one day be comortable with all food, not just “safe foods”. I wish you all the best and nothing but happiness. I very much look forward to your future posts. Thank you so much!
Hi Jamie,
I ran across your blog the other day as I was wasting time before class. I didn’t have time to read many posts but I knew it was worth returning to, so I bookmarked it. Great decision. I have since come back to it every day to read your posts and recipes.
I just finished my sophomore year in college and was diagnosed with an eating disorder in the beginning of the school year. It has been undoubtedly the most difficult year of my life. I just wanted to say “thank you” for having the courage and persistence to post this blog. I cannot begin to describe how much this blog has helped me.
After reading all of the other comments, I realize this will most likely blend into all the other similar posts. This is not to say they aren’t legitimate or sincere!!! I think this truly speaks to how many people you have helped!!!
I wish you the best in everything you do, pray you have the strength in hard days, and good friends and family to help you when you don’t.
Thank you again, Jamie!
Thank you for the lovely feedback. Good luck with your continued recovery. With patience and persistence, you can do anything <3