What’s better than going on a 10 mile bike ride?

Going on a 10 mile bike ride with lots of great people and for a good cause!  The bike ride was a 10 mile loop around my home-town to raise awareness and support for creating a continuous bike path around town.

This is at the start of the ride. You can see my shadow in the left bottom corner snapping this picture with my cell phone. I forgot my camera. I always forget my camera for everything!  There were some serious bikers there! I tried not to be too intimidated, but secretly I want to go out and get myself some fancy biking gear.

This is me looking super happy at the start of the ride! My papa is riding right behind me. You can see him right above my hat.

This is about 7 miles in, during a more woodsy part of the ride.

This is me about 8 miles in. My face looks a little flushed, but I’m still going strong!

I didn’t get a picture at the end of the ride, nor did I get a picture of me and my dad because my phone died! This will be a weekly bike ride happening every Tuesday though, so I’ll try to remember my camera for the next ride!

And that is what a FUN workout looks like.

XOXO,

Jamie

Double Chocolate (super fudgey gooey) Pancake (mess)!

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I planned to make protein packed, healthy, chocolate pancakes for lunch today. Well things didn’t go quite as planned when I accidentally added too much liquid to my pancake batter. Of course I wasn’t going to throw out the batter and waste all that food! Not to mention, I had used my last chocolate protein bar which is one of the ingredients. However, if you’re not a fan of protein bars, no worries! They’re totally optional in this recipe.

So back to the soupy pancake batter…I decided to try and cook it up like pancakes anyways. It kind of worked. Kind of.  The pancakes turned out super gooey and fudgey. They were delicious, but I can’t wait to try my hand at this recipe again, with decreased liquid to make proper pancakes!

Doesn’t that look like a delicious pancake mess!?

I have a confession to make. After these pancakes were in the pan cooking, I may have used a spatula to lick out every last drop of batter from the bowl. It’s true. The batter was that good. Next time, I might just eat this pancake batter raw. I wish I was kidding.

Double Chocolate Pancakes

serves 1

  • 1/4 cup flour (I used oat flour made by pulsing 1/3 cup oatmeal in a blender until pulverized. However feel free to use any flour.)
  • 1/4 tsp baking powder
  • 1 T cocoa powder
  • 1 T sugar (or 2 packets splenda)
  • dash of salt
  • 1 tsp pure vanilla extract
  • 1/3 C milk (I used 1/2 C almond milk. Use the decreased measurement! Do not make my mistakes!)
  • 1 chocolate protein bar, pulverized in blender or food processor (optional)

Combine dry ingredients, then add wet ingredients and mix.  I cooked half of the protein bar bits into the pancakes and topped my pancakes with the remaining half of the bar. Cook pancakes in pan or griddle, and enjoy!

The possibilities are endless with these pancakes. You could leave out the protein bar, and add in chocolate protein powder. You could nix the added protein all together if that’s not your thing, and add chocolate chips!  You could top these with this peanut butter dip. You could add coconut! Seriously, the sky is the limit.

XOXO,

Jamie

Pinterest

So has everyone heard of the website Pinterest?

It’s basically a virtual pinboard where people “pin” websites, images, quotes, recipes, etc. to their pinboard. I have several different pinboards including one for food inspiration, fashion inspiration, interior decorating, craft ideas, and pretty photography. This way, I can keep all my interesting internet finds catagorized.

I’m warning you now that Pinterest is VERY addicting.  You can browse through what other people have pinned and repin them to your own pinboards. I spend a lot of time pinning when I should be studying.  But there is just so much inspiration to be found!

I’ll share with you a few images on my different pinboards:

This is from my decor pinboard. I just love quaint little cottages! I want my house to look like this!

From rooms-for-the-revolution.tumblr.com

This is from my fashion pinboard. Tattoos are kind of like fashion for the skin right? Anyways, I don’t have any tattoos, but I absolutely love the text running down the spine. It’s so different from what I usually see.

From bereave.tumblr.com

This image is from my craft ideas pinboard. You simply spray paint a skeleton key, attach a ribbon, and voila! Awesome vintage-y necklace.

From maizehutton.blogspot.com

This is from my decor inspiration pinboard. I absolutely love the sign above the bed.

From oh-whatfun.blogspot.com

Last but definitely not least, from my food inspiration pinboard, red velvet brownies! Yes, you read that right. I haven’t made these little gems yet, but I’m salivating just looking at them. There is a gold mine of food inspiration and recipes on pinterest.

From smells-like-home.com

Go check out pinterest, and find something you love. Make a new food or try a craft. Tackle a do-it-yourself project. Accomplishing beautiful things makes you feel like a more beautiful person.

XOXO,

Jamie

Low Fat Chewy Gooey Brownies

Sorry for the gap between postings! It’s been crazy busy here at CollegeGirlCooking. Right now I should be studying this high-yield problem on conservation of momentum…

Instead, I am writing this blog! Much more thrilling than physics.  So what have I been up to this past week?  Pretty much lots of studying and lots of good eats.

Wednesday I visited Darren. We went to a restaurant in Perrysburg called Zingo’s Mediterranean. I ordered the Vegetarian Trio sandwich. It featured falafel, hummus, and tabbouli salad all wrapped up in a grilled pita.  It also came with a side of pita chips. I absolutely loved the sandwich and the pita chips. Darren got the Chicken Tawook sandwich. He enjoyed his sandwich as well, but probably not as much as I enjoyed mine.  That evening we shared a pint of Ben and Jerry’s “Fair Goodness Cake”

It was good, but it wasn’t as great as my three favorites: Half Baked, Milk and Cookies, and Bonnaroo Buzz!

Friday I went out to dinner at a local restaurant with my Mom, Dad, and sister Allie. I got a Chicken Club sandwich with french fries. I thought the chicken would be grilled, but to my dismay, it was breaded and fried. It tasted alright, but it was much lower on the nutrition scale.  Later that night, Darren came home and we got ice cream. I had a cookie dough flurry, and Darren had a German chocolate cake flurry. We each ate half of our flurries, then traded and finished the rest. Darren is such a good boyfriend for putting up with my food sharing antics.
Saturday was basically all about food. My Mom, Dad, and I visited my brother in Cleveland. We went to the West Side Market.

It’s a gigantic market with fresh produce, cheese, meats, baked goods..basically anything you could ever want. We ate at the West Side Market Cafe where I ordered The Mellow Mushroom Burger which was a hamburger topped with Swiss cheese and mushrooms. It came with a side of delicious french fries. I also bought some cannolis at the market to take home. As usual, it was great to have a day with the family!

Then on Sunday Darren’s mom invited me to go along with her and Darren’s brother to visit Darren and go shopping. Of course, I was super happy to go along. We shopped throughout the afternoon. Darren’s mom bought me a University of Michigan T-shirt<—Hopefully I will be a medical student there someday! We ate at a fancy schmancy restaurant called J. Alexanders. I ordered the Veggie Burger with a side of fries. It was the best Veggie Burger I’ve ever had. I gave Darren a bite, and of course he didn’t like it. That man will never understand veggies. I had a really great day with Darren’s family.

So, in case you haven’t noticed a theme, there was a lot of fried food, restaurant food, and ice cream consumption in the past few days. How did this make me feel? Physically I felt fine. I ate decent portions, stopping when I was full. I also ate enough of my nutrient dense meals to compensate for all my restaurant meals. Mentally, I did not feel so fine. I felt really guilty and anxious about how indulgent I had been in my eating. I may have had a hysterical breakdown, bawling my eyes out, right in front of Darren. He was a good sport as always though, and just hugged me until I was ready to talk. There is nothing wrong with eating out a little more often than usual, or even overeating once in a while. It’s normal. It happens. My anxiety and guilt was a product of my eating disordered thoughts creeping back up on me. Recovery is about being able to stop thinking about calories and weight in order to properly assess the situation and address the ACTUAL cause of unhappiness. Now that I’m not so crazed and upset, I can clearly see that quite a number of things going on in my life are stressing me out. I’m sick of studying for the MCAT. I’m worried about having time to study for the MCAT during the school year. I’m nervous that my course load is too heavy this coming semester. I’m nervous about having a job for the first time while also taking classes. I’m sad that summer is ending. Food and weight have been familiar scapegoats for me in finding the source of my unhappiness or anxiety. It’s hard not to automatically turn to them whenever I’m scared or stressed, but I keep trying. And when I fall off track, I keep managing to get back on. That’s what recovery is all about.

On a happier note, today I baked brownies!

Low fat brownies. They are gooey and fudgey and delicious!  AND they’re from a mix, so they come together super quick and only dirty one bowl!

Low-Fat Chewy Gooey Brownies

  • 1 box brownie mix (I used Pillsbury)
  • 1/2 cup lite vanilla yogurt (I actually used Yoplait’s Boston Creme Pie)
  • 1/4 cup water

Combine brownie mix, yogurt, and water in a large bowl until completely combined. OMIT the eggs and oil! Put batter in 9×13 inch pan and bake according to package directions. You may have to bake them for a couple minutes longer than called for on the package directions if they come out too fudgey.

EAT BROWNIES

XOXO,

Jamie

Healthy (enough) Banana Muffins!

Before getting to these delicious muffins: If you haven’t already, become a fan of CollegeGirlCooking on facebook!  Thanks and love ya’ll!

Now back to our regular scheduled programming…

Bananas do not get eaten in this household, yet my mom continues buying them.  When it comes to fresh fruit, my favorites are apples and strawberries. Bananas are kind of far down on the list…

Since bananas are always turning super brown in my house, I’ve found several ways of using them. The browner, the better!

1. Oatmeal

2. Banana Chocolate Chip Coffee Cake

3. Smoothies

4. Pancakes

When I came upon four super brown bananas sitting on my counter yesterday, I knew I had to do something to remedy the problem. I hate throwing away good food!  So, as the saying goes, “when the bananas get brown, the bakers make muffins.”

–Okay so maybe I made that up. Anyways, these muffins are super moist and full of banana and cinnamon flavor. They’re also pretty healthy for a muffin! Good taste and healthy too! It’s a win/win.

Look at all those yummy browned banana bits!

I seriously cannot wait to put one of these into my belly as part of lunch.

Banana Cinnamon Muffins

via The Pastry Affair

Yields 12 standard size muffins

1/3 cup unsalted butter, room temperature (I used margarine)
1/3 cup sugar
1 large egg
4 over-ripe bananas, mashed
1/4 cup milk (I used unsweetened almond milk, but dairy/rice/coconut/soy would also work)
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups flour (I used white AP because that’s all I had on hand, however I bet whole wheat pastry flour would be great)
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon nutmeg

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Lightly grease a muffin tin or line with baking cups.

In a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the egg and continue to beat. Mix in the mashed banana. Stir in milk and vanilla extract.

In a separate bowl, sift together the flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Fold dry ingredients into wet until just blended.

Spoon the batter evenly between the muffin cups and bake for 15 to 20 minutes, or until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Allow to cool and store in an airtight container at room temperature.

Satisfy your muffin craving with these treats at home. Your body will thank you.

XOXO,

Jamie

Super Filling Oatmeal Bowl

Hey everyone!

It’s been a really productive day here at CollegeGirlCooking. Firstly, I’d like to say that there is now a CollegeGirlCooking fanpage on facebook!

Please like my page on facebook here!!: CollegeGirlCooking fanpage

Other than that, I’ve made about a zillion organic chemistry flashcards in preparation for the mcat. What’s worse than making a zillion flashcards? Memorizing a zillion flashcards…

It will all be worth it in the end when I (hopefully) rock that 5 hour long exam right? Right!

After a morning’s worth of studying, I needed to refuel my brain with some food. My normal lunch combos didn’t sound all too appealing today for some reason. I normally have a sandwich with some combination of pretzels, crackers, fruit, and/or veggies. Today I wasn’t feeling that though, so I made an oatmeal bowl. It was yummy and super filling.

This oatmeal bowl would be the perfect alternative for kids who eat too much cereal like Fruit Loops and Cocoa Puffs. My oatmeal bowl contained oatmeal, almond milk, cocoa powder, a ripe mashed banana, and a dollop of this peanut butter dip. The peanut butter, chocolate, banana combo is totally appealing to kids. Yes, my lunch was more of a second breakfast, but I just love my breakfast food!

Oh yeah, I also had a scoop of ice cream to round out this delicious lunch :)

Super Filling Oatmeal Bowl

1/2 cup oats- you can use whatever kind of oats you prefer and however you prefer to cook them. I ate mine cold, but this bowl would also be completely delicious with cooked oatmeal.

enough milk to cover oatmeal or cook it in- you can also use water.  I used unsweetened almond milk

1 very ripe banana, mashed

1 Tbs. cocoa powder

1 Tbs. peanut butter- I used this peanut butter dip

sweetener to taste

Cook oatmeal however you prefer. I used this method for overnight oats. Stir in mashed banana, then add cocoa powder and peanut butter. I left my cocoa powder and peanut butter on top, but you can also stir it in. Add enough sweetener of your choosing to taste, depending on your preference and ripeness of the banana.

Now seriously, go make this oatmeal bowl for breakfast. Your stomach (and your kids!) will thank you!

XOXO,

Jamie

 

A fun-filled weekend and mini-apple pies!

Hey everyone!

I hope you all had a fabulous, fun, restful weekend. I sure did!  Well, maybe I could have used a little more rest, but I always want more sleep.

Anyways, this past Saturday was my family’s annual talent show. It was a blast. There was good food, good talent, and lots of fun swimming and playing kickball. Me and Darren did some cheerleading stunts for our talent.

(photo courtesy of Taylor Elchert)

Darren is a seriously patient boyfriend to go along with this. Although, he did almost drop me on my face.

My family and I sang the song “Mad World” for our talent with my little sister Allie on the piano for accompaniment. It was a lot of fun to sing with my family in the weeks leading up to the talent show.

Sunday was spent lounging around with Darren. He had to go back to his apartment that night. After he left, I completely broke out in hives. By midnight, my body felt like it was on fire, I was itching all over, and I was covered in huge raised red lumps. I have no clue what caused me to have such a reaction. I ate tilapia for dinner that night. I’ve had tilapia about 6 or 7 times in the past. Other than that I ate things I eat on a weekly, if not daily, basis. I had my protein shake, an apple, peanut butter, a turkey sandwich, ice cream, asparagus, and potatoes. When I woke up in the morning, thankfully, only a few little red bumps remained on the back of my leg. Now, halfway through the day, my skin is completely clear of hives. Talk about weird!

Now onto some deliciousness…

Mini apple pies.

Yup.

Baked in a cupcake pan.

Because cupcakes are out. And pie is in.

These mini apple pies are so cute and portable! I love them :)

The recipe I used says that it yields 6 mini apple pies. When I made the recipe, I had enough filling for 6 mini apple pies, but I only had enough dough for 3 crusts! I would suggest doubling the crust recipe to have enough, unless you can roll out your pie dough super thin without tearing it. I can’t.

Mini-Apple Pies

via Novel Eats

Mini Apple Pies
This recipe makes approximately 6 mini pies the size of medium-sized muffins

For the crust:

  • 1 cup white all-purpose flour
  • 6 Tbsp. butter
  • 2 Tbsp. cold water

For the filling:

  • 2 large baking apples, peeled and sliced into small pieces
  • 1/3 cup sugar I used white
  • 1/8 cup white all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
  • 1/2 tsp. nutmeg
  • dash of salt

In a medium-sized bowl put 1 cup of flour. Cut in the butter with a fork or pastry blender/cutter until the mixture has small lumps. Sprinkle the cold water over the flour and butter and stir together until the dough pulls together and away from the sides of the bowl. If the mixture doesn’t seem to be doing this you can add another tablespoon of water. Roll the dough into a ball, wrap it in plastic wrap, then place it in the refrigerator for 20 or 30 minutes so it becomes firm. This will make it easier to work with.

Mix together all of the filling ingredients except for the peeled and sliced apples. After they have been mixed add in the apples (or vice versa depending on your bowl situation) and stir until the dry ingredients have been well incorporated with your apples. Set aside.

Preheat your oven to 345 degrees Fahrenheit.

Take your dough out of the refrigerator and split into two. On a floured surface roll out the dough until it is thin (not too thin otherwise it will tear).

Use a small bowl as a guide and slice around the bowl like so. Then take the circle of dough and press it into your muffin pan.

Score the bottom of the dough with a fork a few times. Fill the dough with the apple mixture so that it comes over the top of the pan (when the apples are baking they will loose a lot of their water and sink down).

Cut the excess dough.

Now cut a smaller circle of dough and put it on top of your pie. Pinch the top dough together with the bottom dough (the centimeter part). Score the top with a knife. If you get really creative you can cut little leaves out of your scraps of dough and place those on top. They may fall off, though, so you’ll need to make sure they are secure (gently mashing the ends into the top pie dough).

Continue doing this process until you’ve run out of enough dough or apple filling. There is bound to be leftovers of both so you can just bake the remaining apples in a separate pan, make a pie with no top pie crust, or make a small apple crisp after all.

Place the muffin pan in the oven, and place a sheet of aluminum foil on the rack below to catch any liquid that may fall from the pan. Bake for about 35 minutes, and check to make sure the apple pies are done.

Once they are done take them out of the oven and let them sit for about 15 or 20 minutes so they get cool enough to handle. It’s not easy taking these little pies out of the pan so you may have to be careful while coaxing them out with a knife.

These things are yum-o and perfect for the approach of fall.

XOXO,

Jamie

Taking a Rest Day and Peanut Butter Dip/Sauce/Spread/Deliciousness

Hello lovlies!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful Thursday. My Thursday started out fabulous with a delicious breakfast I will tell you about later on. However, the day quickly went downhill as I attempted to study for the MCAT. I was super productive for about an hour, but then, I could NOT focus.

I tried all my tricks for focusing. I took a break. I had some caffeine. I went for a walk. I sat back down to study, and my mind was just screaming “NO!”  So, today was a light day on the studying front, and I’m not planning to do anymore studying the rest of the evening. I’ve been hard-core studying for the past three days. Today, my mind finally needed a rest.

Today my body also needs a rest. I haven’t talked too much on the blog about my exercise habits. In the past, I’d force myself to run miles and spend grueling hours sweating it out at the gym. I no longer force myself to workout. I DO exercise though. I move when my body feels like moving. As I just mentioned, one of my favorite tricks for getting focused on a task is to go on a walk. It gets the restlessness out of me and allows me to sit and focus. My boyfriend and I also love going on walks together.

Recently though, I’ve been feeling sort of weak, and I wanted to find a light strength training activity. Lucky for me I found something I love! I rented a DVD from my library called Iron Yoga.

Iron yoga combines weights with power yoga poses for strength training. I’m actually really surprised at how much I love Iron Yoga. I don’t really like yoga, and I don’t really like lifting weights, but the combination of the two is great! It’s an amazing workout. I did half of the DVD Tuesday and the other half Wednesday. Today I am sore! I want to do yoga today because I have some much fun doing it, and I feel so great afterwards. I know I need a rest day though.

Now, onto my delicious breakfast. I kind of love peanut butter. It goes great with just about everything. My favorite way to eat peanut butter is dipping apple slices in it. However, I find that I can easily eat about half a cup of peanut butter doing this. One problem is that peanut butter is super thick, so instead of thinly coating my apple slice, I end up with a huge glob on PB right on the end.  I’m getting really technical on this peanut butter rant. I’ll just skip to the good part.

To the left is creamy dreamy PB sauce, and to the right is my breakfast. It consisted of wheat puffs layered with yogurt and my creamy dreamy PB sauce.  It was amazing. I haven’t even had dinner yet tonight, and I’m already looking forward to this breakfast tomorrow!

Creamy Dreamy PB Sauce

adapted from Oh She Glows

Yield: Approx. 28 tablespoons or 1 and 3/4 cup

Ingredients:

  • 3/4 cup natural peanut butter
  • 3/4 cup unsweetened coconut milk
  • 1 tbsp pure maple syrup
  • 1/4 tsp ground cinnamon, or to taste

Directions: Blend everything in blender until smooth!

This Creamy Dreamy PB sauce was great on my breakfast parfait.  It’s creamier than peanut butter alone, so it is perfect for dipping. It would also be good on oatmeal, toast, fruit…basically anything. Also, you can customize it with your own add-ins. Omit the cinnamon and add chocolate chips or cocoa powder. Dream up your own favorite combination.

XOXO,

Jamie

Cookie Dough Stuffed Cupcakes

Hello all you lovely people!

I wanted to talk a little about the fun I had last weekend.  Then I’ll get right down to the good stuff: cookie dough stuffed cupcakes!

Last weekend was FULL of shopping. Taylor and I went shopping Friday while Allie and Taylor’s boyfriend Kyle were at a computer programming workshop. We had more than enough time to spend in the stores so we spent some time clowning around.

We had a wonderful lunch at Granite City Food and Brewery. I had a Santa Fe Turkey Sandwich. It was a crispy fried Tortilla with turkey, mayo sauce, and lettuce.  I also had a side of ribbon fries. I promptly gobbled everything up. I love eating my healthy foods like apples, yogurt, and lean meats, but I also like to have something fried and absolutely heart clogging every once in a while. Of course, if I ate fried foods every day I’d start feeling sluggish and blah. It’s all about balance people. Feed your body what it wants and needs.

After shopping, eating, and just plain having fun all day at an outdoor mall, Taylor and I picked up the little nerds from their programming workshop.

Taylor acted like a proud mother, snapping pictures of Allie and Kyle as they exited the lecture hall.

Saturday I also went shopping.  I wasn’t shopping for myself though. Saturday was all about buying new school clothes for Darren. He bought a ton of new, stylish clothes which I’m super excited about. I love clothes and creating a personal style. Darren on the other hand, like most other men I know, could care less about style. He happily tried on clothes all day for me, though. In fact, I picked out everything he bought that day except for a pack of socks he grabbed while I was in the bathroom. I may have liked shopping for Darren better than shopping for myself. If I wasn’t so interested in medicine, I’d definitely try to start up a career as a personal shopper.

After shopping, my whole family and Darren cooked out over a wood fire by the river.  It was nice family time. Then Darren and I went on a walk and got ice cream.

Sunday was equally as exciting as Friday and Saturday. I went spelunking! For those of you who don’t know, spelunking is the act of exploring a cave. Darren, his mom, and my family went on a cavern tour. It was amazing! I thought the whole thing would be super touristy. I thought there would be stairs and hand rails. No. We climbed on and over rocks. We ducked down low. We had a super fun time crawling to 100 feet underground. I loved it, and now I’m excited to visit more caves whenever I can!

Onto more delicious things…

Like Cookie Dough Stuffed Cupcakes!  Yes, inside these seemingly ordinary cupcakes lies a huge glob of cookie dough, eggless cookie dough of course. I took the easy way out and used boxed cake mix and store bought frosting. The cookie dough is made from scratch though.  I’m not a huge fan of cupcakes, but I am absolutely in love with these.  I probably love these so much because I love raw cookie dough. My dad even said he thinks I could win a prize with these cupcakes.

Cookie Dough Stuffed Cupcakes

  • 1 box cake mix of your choice baked according to package (I used Betty Crocker Butter Yellow Cake Mix)
  •  2  12 oz. cans of frosting or 1  24 oz can (I used Pillsbury Dark Chocolate and Buttercream because they were on sale. The combo turned out delicious though.)

Cookie dough recipe

  • 2 C all-purpose flour
  • 1/2 t salt
  • 3/4 C unsalted butter, melted
  • 1 C packed brown sugar
  • 1/2 C white sugar
  • 1 T vanilla extract
  • 4 T milk
  • Any amount of any mix-in you’d like – I used semi-sweet chocolate chips, but mini semi-sweet chocolate chips would probably be better.
  1. Mix all ingredients in a large bowl.

Once your cupcakes are baked and cooled, use a small knife to cut out  a piece of the center. I cut out holes that were about an inch in diameter and an inch deep.  Shape some cookie dough into a ball that is similar to the size of the hole in the cupcake. Put the cookie dough ball in the cupcake.  Cover with frosting.  To get the look I achieved on my cupcakes, I filled one pastry bag with buttercream and the another with dark chocolate frosting. I left these pastry bags without a tip and placed both of them inside another pastry bag fitted with a star tip. When you frost, the frostings will come out side by side.  If you are working with stiff frosting you will get two-toned frosting. If you are working with a creamier frosting like I did, you will mostly get a blending of the frostings.

Enjoy your cupcakes and eat your cookie dough raw!

XOXO,

Jamie

Live in The Present

I had originally planned to blog about bread today, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. Today is always a hard day for my family. August 1st, 1979 was the day my big sister, Casey, was born.  She died in 1997 when I was only 6 years old. She would have turned 32 today.

Talking about bread seemed trivial to say the least.

Casey was the perfect big sister. Despite being busy with cheerleading, track, school, and her friends, she always somehow had time to spend with her baby sisters. I felt more admiration towards her than I’ve ever felt towards anyone in my life. She tumbled and practiced cheer routines in the yard, and I made up my own cheer routines next to her. She spent time making scrapbooks for the football and basketball players, and I watched her wondering if I’d ever be able to achieve such creativity. She made the best chocolate chip cookies, and I always assisted her in eating the raw cookie dough. I honestly don’t have a lot of vivid memories of times spent with Casey. However, I’ll always remember my admiration towards her. I’ll always continue being inspired by her. I’ll never stop loving her, and I’ll always cherish those memories I do have.

One tool I learned in recovering from my eating disorder is to “live in the present.”  Living in the present means being fully available and committed to whatever activity you are currently doing. Living in the present helped me stop obsessing about food and calories. For example, while taking a shower, I close my eyes and truly feel the water cascading down my skin. While washing my hands, I admire the beauty in a soap bubble’s color. In simple terms, living in the present is like taking time to smell the roses.

You may be able to relate to this:  I used to have a constant voice playing in my mind. It would constantly flutter through my to-do list, count the calories in every meal, then recount them, it would count the number of steps I took every day, it would compare myself to others, it would plan for the future, it would chastise myself for past mistakes. The voice was constant, always nagging.  Living in the present allows you to turn off that voice in your head and simply experience life as it’s happening.

Today I spent some time reflecting about Casey. Sometimes life can be short. I realized that living in the present is not only a tool to decrease anxiety and obsessive thoughts, but it is also a way to live life to the fullest. We should all fully experience our lives when we are here: in the present. For example, telling yourself you’ll be happy when you’re thin is a deception. When you’re thin, you’ll still be you. You’ll still have the same life, the same job, the same friends. Another good example of failing to live in the present is worrying. It’s fine to worry about something for about five seconds. Then you need to ask yourself what you can do to aid the problem. If the answer is nothing, then move on and stop worrying. Worrying removes us from ourselves and asking ourselves what we can literally do brings us back to the present.

Sometimes I get sad for no reason at all really. Unfortunately, sometimes I indulge myself and mope around being very unpleasant to anyone or anything that crosses my path. Usually though, I try to take my mind off my current feeling by doing something enjoyable to me.  Sometimes I read a book, blog, or take a walk. Today, though, I baked. After baking a batch of cupcakes, I was back to myself, back in the present, and once again, ready to take on and appreciate every day of my life.

XOXO,

Jamie