Skillet Cookie

Just a warning, this is a super yummy recipe, but a super emotional and personal post. I’m going to talk about my eating disorder, so read at your own discretion. The recipe is really delicious though, so if you skip the body of the post, I suggest at least looking at the recipe

I’ve been in a funk lately. School is no longer exciting, but instead, stressful and annoying. I’ve been really hard on myself lately. There is one class this semester that is absolutely killing me. I could put in a reasonable amount of work and easily manage a B+ in the class. However, I insist on torturing myself because I refuse to accept anything less than an A. Crazy right?

And as much as I hate to admit it, my eating has gotten super disordered. I know relapses happen to people with eating disorders, but it’s just super discouraging. It’s been months since I’ve even thought about what I was eating, and all of a sudden, I’m restricting and binging again. Feeling super crazy.

I’m committing myself to getting through this phase.  I just need to give myself time and compassion. I need to listen to my body. I need to take a break when I need a break. I need to accept  a B+, because really, it is so not the end of the world. Sometimes I get so caught up in trying to be perfect I forget to step back and ask myself whether everything is really worth it. Is it really worth my health and sanity to go from a B+ to an A? Probably not. Can I be successful and still find balance in my life? Definitely. I know it’s possible. I’ve been recovered for a while now, and I refuse to submit myself to the torture of starvation or the self-guilt of binging. I’m worth way more than that.

So now that I’ve been completely honest with you all, I’ll be using my blog as a place to help myself get out of this weird, scary, relapse I’ve been in for the last few weeks. I’m looking forward to getting back to the place where food is no longer an issue, and I know writing will help me get through this.

Onto a much more lighthearted topic…

Chocolate Chip Skillet Cookie

Chocolate Chip Skillet Cookie

via The Pink and Blue Blog

What You’ll Need:
1 stick (8 tablespoons) unsalted butter
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup light brown sugar
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1 egg
1 1/2 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
1 cup chocolate chunks

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Melt butter in an 8 inch cast iron skillet set over medium-low heat. Stir in sugars and vanilla and remove from heat. Let rest until pan is warm, but no longer very hot, about 5 minutes.

2. Crack an egg onto the butter and sugar mixture, and use a fork to whisk it well into the mixture. Place flour, baking soda, and salt on top, and very carefully stir into the mixture until smooth and well-mixed. Stir in chocolate chunks. Place in the oven for 15 minutes, or until starting to turn golden on the top and around the edges, but soft in the center. Serve with vanilla ice cream.

Yes, these were delicious. I ate a slice warm and gooey, straight from the pan. I prefer the taste of bars to cookies because their texture is much chewier. Also, these have a unique flavor because of browning the butter in the skillet. These are definitely a treat. I’m already thinking this would be a perfect alternative for me for a birthday cake since I don’t love cake.

XOXO,

Jamie

About these ads