I do my best thinking when I’m laying in bed. It’s true. Maybe my bed is magic or maybe more blood gets to my brain when I’m laying down. Either way, all my good ideas, paper theses, personal epiphanies, etc. come to me right as I’m about to drift to sleep.
Last night I was laying in bed, thinking about my struggles with food, the recent resurgence of my disordered eating feelings, and how to once again find peace with food. I’ve struggled so much with eating in the past few years. As I was laying in bed though, I realized that food isn’t something we should fight against. We shouldn’t restrict ourselves or make ourselves go hungry just to be a size zero. It’s not worth it.
Food is not about self-control, deprivation, and being skinny. Food is supposed to give us energy, allowing us to live our best life possible. Food is not the end result. A perfect diet or small size is not something to be achieved. Instead, the food we eat is simply what enables us to achieve the end goal, that is, life.
Now this woman, she knows how to live! 
XOXO,
Jamie
Hi Jamie! I’m 22 and just graduated college and although I finished college bringing a Bachelors degree with me, I also brought along a serious case of disordered eating. I have battled this awful deprivation for longer than I even realized. Although it is a daily struggle I am making strides and more and more I can see the good in food now and learn to appreciate it. I really admire you for sharing the fact that your disordered eating has return because it is something that happens in this process of letting go of the disordered thoughts. You are not alone in your day to day struggles. Being able to read your blog and see someone has the same up’s and down’s as I do makes me feel less alone in this process. Keep positive! Thank you!!
I’m glad you found my blog!