I’ve taken quite a hiatus from my blog as a result of my hectic school/work schedule and the fact that I’ve been taking a lot of “me” time. A while back I wrote about my relapse in eating disordered feelings. Since this resurgence in binging and restricting, I’ve been a lot more careful to analyze my body’s wants and needs.
For example, today shortly after I ate lunch, I was working on my English paper and couldn’t stop thinking about how I wanted to take a break and eat a snack. Food thoughts kept running through my head like crazy, and I couldn’t focus on my paper.
Eventually I just stopped and asked myself, “Am I really hungry?” The answer was no because I had just had lunch, and I was still satiated. Since I didn’t actually want food, the next question I asked myself was, “What do I REALLY want?” When I really dug deep to find the root of my food thoughts, I realized I simply wanted a break from my paper and a short nap. So…I napped!
Whenever I’m feeling stressed, or tired, upset, or lonely, my mind’s first reaction is FOOD FOOD FOOD! FIND ME SOME FOOD SO I CAN DISTRACT MYSELF FROM WHAT IS GOING ON IN MY HEAD! This of course, is not productive, because eating when I’m not truly hungry only leads to binging and food guilt. Therefore, it’s been really important and helpful to me to find out what my body is truly telling me it needs.
For those of you who have not had an eating disorder, listening to your body’s wants may seem like a natural thing. For those of you (myself included) who use or have used food as a way to escape yourself and your feelings, listening to your bodies true wants and feeling your true emotions is a HUGE victory. Once we are able to completely take care of ourselves and deal with our emotions, we can break free from binge eating.
I’m going to continue working on myself and congratulating myself on the victories small or large along the way. I hope you’ll join me