Disclaimer: This post deals with my own personal experience with depression. Read at your own discretion. I am not an expert on the topic, and therefore, I am unqualified to give professional advice. If you are suffering from depression contact your health-care professional. If you are experiencing a mental health emergency please contact The US National Suicide & Crisis Hotline at 1-800-784-2433.
In the first post in my series titled Depression Diaries, I spoke about common conceptions of depression and my own experience with it. If you missed that post, you can catch up here.
In the second post of this series, I’m going to talk about my experience with antidepressants. The decision to begin taking an antidepressant was not one I took lightly. I’d heard horror stories about people’s experiences, and the long list of side effects frightened me. Furthermore, I’m cautious of putting potentially harmful substances in my body. I didn’t want to be dependent on a medication for the rest of my life. These are all common concerns that anyone has when starting any medication.
In addition though, I had the feeling antidepressants were almost as stigmatized as the disease they treat. I felt as if I was a weak person because I had to resort to medication just to be able to live my life. Despite all these concerns though, I ended up on a low dose prescription of an SSRI (specifically fluoxetine which has shown to be effective and is approved for the treatment of bulimia) which I’ve been on for the last 5 months.
I decided to finally give antidepressants a try because I wasn’t making much progress overcoming my eating disorder on my own. I had read what seemed like an entire library’s worth of self-help books, but the inspiration I took from those books was fleeting. I learned to be much more accepting and caring towards myself. I learned to accept my limits and honor my body’s needs. My eating disorder symptoms lessened, but even with my change in attitude and my new mindset, I still continued to fall into the binge/restriction cycle. Food still had significant control over my life, and I wasn’t willing to settle without exploring all my options…even antidepressants.
Being on an antidepressant significantly decreased my desire to binge. Once I was on medication I felt like I could finally focus on what mattered in my life, and use food the way it is meant to be used-fuel! I don’t necessarily like the idea that I may need to be on medication for a long period of time. Furthermore, there is no guarantee medication will work in the long term. Because of this, I am experimenting with alternative ways to boost my serotonin levels through diet, supplements, exercise, and relaxation techniques. I look forward to talking about all these alternative treatments in the next post of the series!
I just love that quote!
XOXO,
Jamie
That is a wonderful quote to live by sister- thank you for sharing! Also, I find your series very interesting. Keep on posting!
I agree with Taylor 100% love reading these Jamie — you are extremely inspirational to so many people, and I truly admire all your posts!
Love you!!
Aww thanks guys!
“I felt as if I was a weak person because I had to resort to medication just to be able to live my life.”- I too struggled with this thought, until enough was enough. I’m very happy for you that you understand that being on medication is just what you need. Also, it’s so wonderful to see how much support you have throughout all of this. It truly helps to have caring families and not to mention fantastic boyfriends-they are indeed needed on rough days
I have also tried taking fluoxetine once – well, quite recently, in December 2011, for my bulimia. It was a really low dose, but it just made my mouth too dry and I got so thirsty that I had to drink water every 5 minutes. That obviously made me go to the loo a million times a day, so I stopped taking the medication after trying for a week. I really wished it would work for me, so I am just so glad that it’s doing you so much good! I believe that there is nothing wrong with taking medication for an eating disorder – there is no stigma toward medication for other diseases like hepatitis or cancer, so why should there be one for mental illnesses? I really hope the way people see eating disorder changes. Anyway, good luck with the medication! To you health
Oh that’s a sucky side effect :/ You could maybe talk to your doctor about other SSRIs. Like I said in my post, the fluoxetine is not a cure-all, but it definitely takes the edge of my desire to binge and keeps my moods much more stable.
Yeah, I think I might talk to my doctor like you said and see if there might be an alternate medication that I might be able to try. Thanks!
I hope your MCAT prep is going well 