Recently I’ve been feeling kind of funky. I’ve been studying a lot, and not being quite a social as I normally am. I haven’t been super busy running from classes to labs to meals like a madwoman. I’ve been feeling kind of blah and mindlessly eating quite a bit.
A few nights ago after eating an entire roll of crackers when I wasn’t even hungry, I got super emotional and called Darren. I felt like such a failure because I was slipping into my old habits. I definitely did not want to turn back down the road towards my eating disorder. Our phone conversation pretty much consisted of me crying and Darren telling me that I am not a failure and I can straighten out my habits. When I finally convinced Darren that I was okay, we said goodbye. I hung up the phone and took a huge breath. Then I took about 38 more long deep breaths.
I was going to be okay. I just needed to rediscover my love affair with food.
You might be thinking “Girl, you ate an entire sleeve of crackers…I already know you love food!” (And just for the record, an entire sleeve of crackers is nothing in comparison to the copious amounts of food I used to binge on). But that’s not exactly what I’m getting at. My love affair with food is not only loving eating but also loving, appreciating, and fully enjoying every single bite of food I put in my mouth. That means eating slowly and eating without distractions.
Also, one thing that really gets me out of a “food funk” is to buy groceries. I went grocery shopping with my momma and bought tons of food that I enjoy and that are good for my body. Purchases included: greek yogurt, blackberries, pineapple, almond milk, pita, salad, and salad dressing among all the other groceries my mom bought for the fam.
So here’s some recent eats:
Yesterday’s lunch featured 1 whole egg+2 egg whites, whole grain toast, and lots of strawberries! Usually I don’t love eggs, but I was craving them for lunch yesterday. I went with the craving and was super satisfied after eating.
Today’s lunch: A whole grain pita+turkey+lettuce+mustard+feta cheese. I folded over the pita and microwaved for about 45 seconds. Normally I just eat a regular sandwich for lunch, but the colder weather has made me crave warm food. Blackberries were also consumed.
With a simple change in mindset I’m feeling much more balanced.
What in your life is hardest for you to achieve balance at? Work? Exercise? Food? What do you do when your balance is thrown off or disrupted?